Guess who is ranked #2 in my math class right now????? It doesn't really matter because they are still under me! Yes it is pretty much a special ed. math class but me's numbr won, me's numbr won.
I must say, the new blog address is quite appropriate, as I have been quite disappointed at the rather low-brow attempts at jocularity that have taken place thus far.
So I have decided to share with you a short yet humorous anecdote that I stumbled upon during my studies:
One fine morn, Werner Heisenberg was out driving his Bentley when a fine officer of the law pulled him over.
Said officer approached Herr Heisenberg an said: "Good morrow sir. Have you any idea how fast you were going?"
Herr Heisenberg replied: "No sir, but I know exactly where I am."
I do hope that you don't find my joke about Herr Heisenberg too banal. After all, I didn't mean to imply that our fine officers of the law don't even have a rudimentary understanding of quantum physics. I'm sure quite the opposite is true. After all, our boys in blue are the best and brightest.
Let me qualify that, however, by noting that I'm sure that even a police officer would have difficulty matching the acumen of our dear Motherload in matters mathematical.
Cheerio.
P.S. I do apologize to all for the posts which I have deleted. They contained some embarrassing typographical errors, and that just will not do. Curse these abbreviated fingers.
I do say, Brother, you do relate quite the jovial tale, chock full of mirth and high adventure. Have you any more? I wait for them with great anticipation. Sincerely yours, Sister.
Since we are not using real names, and none of you are "loads," I will use French numbers, Un, Deus, Trois, Quatre, Cinq, Six.
Deux, I'm really proud of you. I knew you could do it. It doesn't matter where the rest of the class is. Math is cumulative. If there are gaps in the process of learning, it pretty much messes you up forever, because it all builds on itself. You just needed to go back and build a new, more complete foundation.
Un, you left out the rest of the joke, possibly because it didn't fit with your worldview, which is that all gendarmes are stupid. But, for the benefit of the rest of you, here it is:
“You little smart***, ” said the officer, beating Heisenberg with the butt of his Luger. “How long will this beating last?” asked Heisenberg. “I don’t know, but I know exactly how much energy I’m expending”, said the officer.
A small observation: The world truly is full of "uncertainty" (small joke), but this much is certain. There is a lot of perfectly pleasant territory between the ivory tower and the gutter.
I'm shocked! Shocked, mind you, at the actions of that brutish officer.
In a truly civilized society, a decent policeman should be perfectly capable of administering a proper shellacking to a citizen without resorting to profanity.
There, there, precious Un. Listen to Mommy. Put your perfumed hanky to your nose and gracefully recline on your fainting couch. The horror will pass. All will be well.
Well, well, well. Aren't we a proper bunch today. I could only imagine what the deleted posts said. Did Jim say "crepitate" in those or something? But I digress..
Jim, I recognize that there are bad apples in every profression that gives them a bad name but I think it's unfair for you, especially being a defense attorney, to lump all cops in that category just for your convenience.
Yes, I understand you're mostly dealing with the officers who integrity and actions might be 'questionable' but that would be like me deciding everyone who exists are irresponsible, unaccountable, selfish, spoiled perverts.
I'm with Kanooer! When I have to google words like mirth, jocularity, banal, and gendarmes, it makes a girl a bit barmy. All I'm saying is that all of this beastly chit-chat is not my cup of tea. If we could bring back to a 4th grade level that would be positivly smashing!
You guys are funny! I don't know if all those fancy words were using are supposed to be funny, but they sure do sound that way. I imagine you all with really bad teeth and then its even more funny. Can we please speak American?
25 comments:
So what you're saying is that for most of your classmates, 4+4 really does = potato? Well, who cares; you's numbr won!! Good job.
You're a good jobber!
I must say, the new blog address is quite appropriate, as I have been quite disappointed at the rather low-brow attempts at jocularity that have taken place thus far.
So I have decided to share with you a short yet humorous anecdote that I stumbled upon during my studies:
One fine morn, Werner Heisenberg was out driving his Bentley when a fine officer of the law pulled him over.
Said officer approached Herr Heisenberg an said: "Good morrow sir. Have you any idea how fast you were going?"
Herr Heisenberg replied: "No sir, but I know exactly where I am."
MOAML,
I do hope that you don't find my joke about Herr Heisenberg too banal. After all, I didn't mean to imply that our fine officers of the law don't even have a rudimentary understanding of quantum physics. I'm sure quite the opposite is true. After all, our boys in blue are the best and brightest.
Let me qualify that, however, by noting that I'm sure that even a police officer would have difficulty matching the acumen of our dear Motherload in matters mathematical.
Cheerio.
P.S. I do apologize to all for the posts which I have deleted. They contained some embarrassing typographical errors, and that just will not do. Curse these abbreviated fingers.
I do say, Brother, you do relate quite the jovial tale, chock full of mirth and high adventure. Have you any more? I wait for them with great anticipation. Sincerely yours, Sister.
Since we are not using real names, and none of you are "loads," I will use French numbers, Un, Deus, Trois, Quatre, Cinq, Six.
Deux, I'm really proud of you. I knew you could do it. It doesn't matter where the rest of the class is. Math is cumulative. If there are gaps in the process of learning, it pretty much messes you up forever, because it all builds on itself. You just needed to go back and build a new, more complete foundation.
Un, you left out the rest of the joke, possibly because it didn't fit with your worldview, which is that all gendarmes are stupid. But, for the benefit of the rest of you, here it is:
“You little smart***, ” said the officer, beating Heisenberg with the butt of his Luger. “How long will this beating last?” asked Heisenberg. “I don’t know, but I know exactly how much energy I’m expending”, said the officer.
A small observation: The world truly is full of "uncertainty" (small joke), but this much is certain. There is a lot of perfectly pleasant territory between the ivory tower and the gutter.
Love you.
BTW, if any of you are curious about that obscure Heisenberg joke, google "Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle."
I'm shocked! Shocked, mind you, at the actions of that brutish officer.
In a truly civilized society, a decent policeman should be perfectly capable of administering a proper shellacking to a citizen without resorting to profanity.
The horror.
There, there, precious Un. Listen to Mommy. Put your perfumed hanky to your nose and gracefully recline on your fainting couch. The horror will pass. All will be well.
Well, well, well. Aren't we a proper bunch today. I could only imagine what the deleted posts said. Did Jim say "crepitate" in those or something? But I digress..
Jim, I recognize that there are bad apples in every profression that gives them a bad name but I think it's unfair for you, especially being a defense attorney, to lump all cops in that category just for your convenience.
Yes, I understand you're mostly dealing with the officers who integrity and actions might be 'questionable' but that would be like me deciding everyone who exists are irresponsible, unaccountable, selfish, spoiled perverts.
I do believe you've missed my point, dear Kanooer. Alas, your misunderstanding is a reflection of my own deficient communicative skills.
Let me reiterate:
I hold police in the utmost regard.
To me, nothing indicates integrity and genteelness so unequivocally as mirror-lensed sunglasses atop an ensemble of blue gabardine.
I merely opined that our fine officers, being the pillars of civilized society, shouldn't use profanity when they pistol-whip physicists.
Is that not a reasonable expectation?
Like I always tell my son: Beat others politely.
Jim, where do you come up with this stuff?? Hilarious.
In my haste, I failed to complete my frequent admonition to my child before entering my post.
It should read: Beat others politely. After all, people will judge you by the words you speak.
I appreciate your indulgence.
Tea time. We absolutely must continue our delightful tete-a-tete at another time.
Ta.
Dearest Allison,
I'm at a loss as how to respond to your query. Is it not abundantly clear that my words come from the heart?
Give precious Sidney a peck on the cheek for me, if you wouldn't mind. For she is, of course, the best child of them all.
Have a tremendous weekend.
Oh, lovely jubbly. I'll give the lassy a peck for you when she arises from her afternoon slumber. Thanks for the jolly good time.
I never knew that listening to Dueling Banjo's would inspire such big words and fancy talk.
Oh and James,
The use of the phrase "abrevated fingers" does sound so much more refined tha "Nubs"
should have said"than" Nubs but ain't as refined as all y'all
This sucks. I need to read more books. This no "potty talk" rule is screwing me.
I'm with Kanooer! When I have to google words like mirth, jocularity, banal, and gendarmes, it makes a girl a bit barmy. All I'm saying is that all of this beastly chit-chat is not my cup of tea. If we could bring back to a 4th grade level that would be positivly smashing!
pip pip
You guys are funny! I don't know if all those fancy words were using are supposed to be funny, but they sure do sound that way. I imagine you all with really bad teeth and then its even more funny.
Can we please speak American?
Oh pish posh, Pamela. Your perfectly penned prose prove your profound proclivity and penchant for pointless prattle.
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